Name: Shannon Bettridge
When and where: Tuesday, February 7th, 2017 at Malt, Newport, RI
Beverage: I had a beer, Shannon had a Mona Lisa (cocktail)
Last time we met in person: Shannon says she was last in town five years ago so it could have been then, but it feels like it could be longer than that
Friends on Facebook: since January 2009
Friends in real life: since August 2000

 

When I first met Chris, Shannon was essentially his part-time housemate. He was officially living aboard his boat in Newport harbor, but I think you would have been just as likely to find him “housesitting” at this rather nice place at the end of Bellevue Avenue which belonged to her dad and stepmom, who lived in New York City during the week. Chris and Shannon had been friends for a few years, and while she was officially living in Maine at the time, she was still studying at URI and so would stay at the house quite often.

Shannon and her super cool dad Bill flew to England for our wedding in 2001, and had a wonderful few days of fun together in Cornwall. Shortly after returning home to New York, Bill suffered a heart attack from which he never fully recovered, so we’ve always been grateful that our wedding gave them the chance to spend that special time together. When I first moved to Newport, we’d get together a lot but when she completed her studies, she took a job in Washington D.C. and so we didn’t see each other very often after that. We made the trip down there for her wedding to Mike in 2006, and she’s been back up here on work-related trips a few times since then. It was one of those work-related trips which brought her back to town this week.

Shannon, our mutual friends Eric and Kelly, their son Reilly, Chris and I all met up at Malt for dinner. As we’d not seen each other for such a long time, we had a lot of catching up to do and the conversation flowed thick and fast around the table, covering many topics. I know that Shannon is a shoeaholic like myself, so I purposely wore my favorite new boots. She was also wearing some pretty cool boots, so we had a bit of a mutual boot admiration session down our end of the table. Two hours flew by in a flash, and before we knew it we were all out on the sidewalk saying goodbye.

Name: Nikki Vee
When and where: Sunday, February 5th, 2017 at Panera, Newport, RI
Beverage: orange ginger mint tea
Last time we met in person: probably at the Todd Rundgren show in May 2016
Friends on Facebook: since July 2012
Friends in real life: I think we probably first met in person the following summer at Newport Folk

I got to know Nikki via her husband Ken, who is the new music editor on Popdose and writes a regular column there. When I noticed on his author bio that he’d recently moved to Jamestown and we had a couple of Facebook friends in common, I sent him a friend request. Nikki had a beautiful German Shepherd named Jett who would often appear in Ken’s photos. I have a particularly soft spot for the breed as we had one named Caesar when I was young, and he was the sweetest soul you could ever hope to meet, so Nikki and I first bonded over our love of dogs. We’d often meet up at concerts and parties, but hadn’t seen so much of each other since they moved from Jamestown to Wakefield a year or two ago.

When I saw that the Bolshoi Ballet’s production of Swan Lake was coming to the Jane Pickens Theatre in Newport, I asked Nikki if she’d like to go see it with me. I knew she’d been a pretty serious ballerina in her youth, and had danced with the State Ballet of Rhode Island at one time, so I thought it would be interesting to have her perspective on the performance, which was streamed worldwide from Moscow. After the show, we walked down the street to Panera for a cup of tea and a chat. We talked about many things, including ballet, her business, her and Ken’s search for a new home, exercise and fitness, and—of course—dogs. After dear old Jett passed away at a very grand old age, she and Ken adopted Rufus, a coonhound, so we had many hound-related stories to compare.

Name: Cindy Cincotta
When and where: Friday, September 16th, 2016 at The Wharf Pub, Newport, RI
Beverage: beer
Last time we met in person: September 2012
Friends on Facebook: since September 2012
Friends in real life: since August 2012

When Chris and I adopted our dear Martha from B.O.N.E.S. in September 2012, Cindy was our wonderful adoption counselor. She spent hours on the phone with us: getting to know us and making sure we were the right people to take on this special little beagle, then giving us lots of support in the weeks and months after we took Martha home. We met in person at the Beagle Bash soon after that, and have remained in touch via Facebook ever since.

Cindy contacted me one Friday morning to say that she and her partner Kendra were visiting Newport for the International Boat Show, and asked if we’d like to get together for a drink. So after work that evening, Chris and I headed downtown to meet up with them. We chatted a little about the boat show, oyster shooters, beer, sailing, but of course the major topic of conversation was beagles. We’d very sadly lost Martha just a few weeks earlier, so we recounted the story of her illness. Cindy had also been through a recent loss, and was dealing with the illness of her beagle Molly at the time too. But it wasn’t all doom and gloom, we also had lots of good beagle tales to share.

Names: Caroline Parker & Brian Green
When and where: Saturday, April 16th, 2016 at The World Bar, Resorts World, Birmingham
Beverage: beer
Last time we met in person: Caz in May 2014, Bri in April 2015
Friends on Facebook: since September 2007 for both
Friends in real life: Caz since 1996, Bri since 1993

I think I first met Bri through my friend Rachel, and it was probably at the Xposure Rock Cafe’s Sunday night music quiz, which I used to win with almost monotonous regularity. The prize for each round was always four free drinks, there were three rounds per night, and so as I wasn’t really drinking at the time, I found people were quite keen to be on my team. Thus I was popular for only the second time in my life, the first being when I was in charge of backstage passes at Donington. Like myself, Bri enjoys an adventure so we would often go off on expeditions together to strange places, such as the Lake District, Ironbridge, and the truck stop on the M54. We would frequently go down to Newquay for holiday weekends, such as the one where we first met Martin. After I moved down there permanently, we would still get together from time to time, either down there or back up in the Midlands. When he began going out with Caz, I became friends with her too and she, together with Jules, was a bridesmaid at my wedding.

 

I missed Caz last time I was over (she was at a Simple Minds gig the night I met up with Brian and his sister Lynda) so I was particularly looking forward to seeing her this time. It turned out we were all going to the ELO show at the Genting Arena (which will always just be the NEC to me) on Saturday, so we made arrangements to meet up before the show. I used to know the complex like the back of my hand but it must have been over 20 years since I was last there, and it has changed almost beyond recognition. Amazingly I was able to find our meeting point without getting too lost, and from there we walked over to the brand new Resorts World complex which is just across from the arena. We found a bar which wasn’t too fancy, but which was very busy and very loud. Shouting above the din, we caught up on our recent adventures. Before long, Dave and Jules joined us, and we all made our way over to the arena for the concert, which was amazing. We all met up in the intermission, and again at the end. We weren’t ready to say goodbye but couldn’t find a suitable bar which was still open after the show, so we all went back to the hotel where Dave, Jules and I were staying and rounded the night off in the bar there. I think we could have talked all night but I had to be up early for my flight home, so after a long-awaited cheese pizza and a few more drinks, we bid each other farewell.

Name: Catherine Adams
When and where: Saturday, April 16th, 2016 at her home in Cosford.
Beverage: sparkling pomegranate and elderflower
Last time we met in person: April 2015
Friends on Facebook: since January 2013
Friends in real life: since around 1988

Catherine’s husband Peter and my mom have been good friends since they began working together in the early 1980s. His house is very close to RAF Cosford, and every year he’d host a party on the day of their air show, so we’d get to watch all the action overhead from his lovely garden. He and Catherine were married in 1988, so I would have first met her around that time. Over the years, they’ve been very good friends to my mom. Last year, knowing of my desire to find a proper old-fashioned British caff during my stay, they introduced me to their local, the wonderful Spider’s Web, where I enjoyed a delicious lunch of liver and onions (one of the dishes on my wish list.) After my Auntie Barbara passed away in November, my mom stayed with them and Peter helped with all the arrangements. I don’t know how we’d have coped without them.

Now Barbara is gone, I’ve lost my usual place to stay in Wolverhampton, and so Peter and Catherine very kindly offered to be my Midlands base for this trip. I spent a really lovely week with them: we’d have breakfast together every morning before I went off on my adventures, and talked about pretty much everything under the sun. After a few days of adjustment, I got onto their early schedule and was treated to a cup of tea in bed at 6:00 am every morning. Catherine loves feeding the birds, and their garden is visited by a whole array: ducks, pheasants, pigeons, doves, robins, blue tits, etc. There’s always something going on outside the windows!

On Saturday I was leaving them to go to my hotel at Birmingham Airport, in preparation for the ELO show that night and my flight home the following morning. My friend Mal was picking me up to take me to the hotel, so he joined us too. Topics of conversation included the new TV stand they’d just bought (and which was delivered during lunch*), my beloved elderflower drinks which I cannot seem to buy in the USA, and my potentially overweight luggage which I’d just zipped up. After lunch, we hauled my suitcase downstairs and into the car, Catherine made a start on washing up the dishes (hence her wet shirt in the photo) and we grabbed a quick photo opportunity before Mal whisked me away.

*After I got home, I received word that they’d managed to assemble the new TV stand without swearing or fighting.

Names: Maria Kikillos & Henry Ratcliffe
When and where: Friday, April 15th, 2016 at The Spider’s Web Café, Cosford.
Beverage: tea (me), coffee (Maria), coffee/tea (Henry)
Last time we met in person: April 2015 in Bilston
Friends on Facebook: Maria since September 2007, Henry since April 2015
Friends in real life: Maria since around 1982, Henry since April 2015

Maria and I first met when we both attended Wolverhampton Girls’s High School. She was in the year below me, so we weren’t close friends in school but we knew each other. After school, Maria began working in a record shop in Wolverhampton, so I would then see her very frequently, and would occasionally see her at gigs. I distinctly remember running into her at Tamworth Rockfest on the day I first met Dave & Jules, and giving her and her friend a ride back to Wolverhampton after the show. After I moved away we lost touch, but when I joined Facebook in 2007, she was one of the first people I connected with, and since then we’ve been really good pals. She even took a detour from a trip to New York City in 2010 to spend a few days with us in Newport. She sends me all sorts of Coronation Street goodies and minty chocs, and I’ll send her fun kitschy finds, cherry chocs, and sometimes a cool vintage frock I can’t fit into any more!

We usually make time to get together when I come over to visit, and it was starting to look like we weren’t going to have a chance this time around, but towards the end of my trip we went out for breakfast together at the Spider’s Web Café in Cosford. I’d been staying with friends who live nearby and they’d taken me there a couple of times before, so it was very conveniently located for me, and it was just a couple of stops along the local train line for Maria. Like me, she appreciates the traditional English caff, and also loves kitsch, so I knew she’d love this place. The Spider’s Web serves proper old-fashioned food in totally unpretentious style, and the surroundings are a feast for the eyes. There are knick knacks everywhere you look (including loads of spiders and webs — not real ones though, the place is spotlessly clean.) Unlike those chain pubs who display random tchotchkes no doubt bought in a job lot by some corporate interior designer, you can tell these were lovingly assembled over time, and are a reflection of the personalities running the place. It is absolutely charming, and a rare find these days. I would eat there every week if I could.

I walked to the station to meet her and was very pleasantly surprised to see that Henry would also be joining us. I’d only met him once before, on my visit last year, and I loved him right away. We got to the Spider’s (as it’s known to the regulars) and Pat behind the counter greeted me by name, despite the fact that I’d only ever been in twice before (and one of those times was a year ago.) You don’t get that at Costa! We ordered our breakfasts and retired to the back dining room with our drinks, and then basically didn’t stop talking for two hours. We covered many topics: work, friends, what I’d done on my trip so far, and inevitably our wonderful surroundings. After two more rounds of drinks and a photo session (thank you Henry for the photos!) we went our separate ways.

When and where: Tuesday, April 12th, 2016 at The Bentlands Pub, Codsall, Wolverhampton
Beverage: Between us I think we covered most of the popular pub-style drinks
Friends in real life: since we all started at the Wolverhampton Girls’s High School in September 1980

Name: Fiona Borgars (she’s the one on the right at the front, somehow I didn’t get a photo of just the two of us)
Last time we met in person: a similar get together in May 2014
Friends on Facebook: since December 2012

Fiona and I were in different classes at school so although we knew each other, we weren’t close friends. We’ve since got to know each other better on Facebook, and have discovered a shared enthusiasm for Converse sneakers. They’re so much cheaper in the US than they are in the UK so I’m always on the lookout for any special ones I see on sale which I can send over.

Name: Karen Alexander
Last time we met in person: a similar get together in March 2009
Friends on Facebook: since November 2007

When all our classmates were screaming for Duran Duran and their ilk, Karen and I were both big fans of rock and metal, and would often see each other at gigs long after we left school. We both moved away from the Midlands and lost touch, but not long after I moved to the USA we found each other on FriendsReunited and got back in touch again. Karen has been working as a forensic scientist all her career… I’ve always thought I’d be quite good at that, so I’m quite envious and sometimes wish I’d worked a bit harder in school! She began working for a different employer recently, which we talked about this evening, and now has a very long daily commute. On top of that, she drove all the way to Wolverhampton after work especially for our get together, and was driving back down to work the following morning. That’s dedication!

Names: Angela Dean (left) and Jo Chambers (right)
Last time we met in person: a similar get together in May 2014
Friends on Facebook: Angela since April 2010, Jo since August 2008

It turns out that Jo is very good at organising, and so it has evolved over the last few years that she has settled into the role of our unofficial social secretary. She’s the one who’s really pulled these reunions together for us… all I had to do was book my flight, throw out a range of dates, and she’s done the rest. Plus she usually ends up driving me (and a few others) home afterwards. She’s amazing! We talked a little about her recent trip to New York City, and what her very cool kids have been getting up to. Angela told me this evening that she really enjoys looking at my photos on Facebook, which was quite a surprise, but did inspire me to take more on this trip. We also talked about Blackpool (her son ballroom dances competitively, so she has to go there whether she wants to or not!) and how it has changed.

Name: Louise Mitchell
Last time we met in person: we spent a day together in Cornwall in January 2013
Friends on Facebook: since April 2009

Lou absolutely loves Cornwall, as do I. She and her family have a caravan near Padstow and spend as much time down there as possible. For years I’ve been encouraging her to move down there permanently like I did, but with a husband and three sons to consider, she’s very sensible and responsible and wants to wait until the boys have all left school. (That’s why she was head girl.) As I turned up dressed like an explosion in a Seasalt store, she was prompted to ask me about my tour of their Falmouth HQ the previous week, so I told her a bit about that.

Name: Sallianne Petty-Fitzmaurice
Last time we met in person: a similar get together in May 2014
Friends on Facebook: since May 2008

For a little while in school, Sallianne and I were part of a small group who would eat their lunch in the bike sheds. To this day, I only have to think of warm Ribena in a thermos flask and I’m instantly transported back there, sitting on a plank we’d jammed into the bike racks to form a makeshift bench.

We talked a little this evening about student loans and the price of education… as most of the girls now have kids at or approaching college/university, this was very much a hot topic of conversation along the whole table. We all said how lucky we were to have started our careers without a huge debt hanging over us, unlike the kids starting higher education now, and how we feel terrible for them. Conversation inevitably turned at some point to the US elections. I felt as though they looked to me to explain the Donald Trump phenomenon to them, but I couldn’t. Nobody can.

Name: Martin Appleby
When and where: Sunday, April 10th, 2016 at his home in Sticklepath, Devon
Beverage: a lovely cuppa tea
Last time we met in person: October 2010
Friends on Facebook: since August 2010
Friends in real life: since August 29, 1993

Before I finally took the plunge and moved to Cornwall in 1996, my friends and I would usually travel down to Newquay for Bank Holiday weekends and rent a holiday flat, or sometimes spend a few days in a B&B. Our pub of choice was the Red Lion, overlooking the harbour, and it was there on the evening of August 29, 1993, that I first met Martin. (Thanks once again to a photo with writing on the back, I know the exact date.) My friends Rachel, Brian and I were staying in a particularly grotty flat that weekend. My memory of the night is quite vivid, because I didn’t touch alcohol at all in those days. Consequently I was always the sensible one who made sure everyone was safely rounded up and accounted for at the end of the night, together with their belongings, which is how I got the nickname Auntie SairSairs. On the evening in question, Rachel, Brian and I were having a drink outside the Red Lion when the cutest little dog I’d ever seen came over to say hello to us. She stayed to hang out with us for a while, and before long her human came over to join the group. The dog’s name was Jack, and the human’s name was Martin.

At some stage of the evening, it was decided that after the pub closed we’d go back to the flat and get Brian’s guitar, then all go down to Fistral beach for a sing-song. As we began walking towards the beach, we noticed a lot of police who were trying to turn people around. We just wandered through the road blocks, guitar slung over shoulder, and continued on our way to the beach. When we arrived, it became clear that just about every person in Newquay under the age of 30 had a similar idea. The beach was busier than on a summer afternoon, and police were everywhere: riot vans, dogs, even a helicopter buzzing overhead with searchlights. Martin, more seasoned than most of those present in the area of civil disobedience, advised everyone that if they got below the high tide line, the police couldn’t make us leave. As I recall, a police dog handler tried to appeal to Martin, voices were raised, the dog lunged toward Martin and the handler pushed him out of the way. The next thing we knew, Martin was being bundled into the back of a police van. Before they shut the doors, he pushed Jack into my arms and gave us a white plastic bag and asked us to look after them for him. Jack didn’t want to be left behind, she barked and cried so much, so she ended up in the back of the van with Martin. They both spent a night in the cells, and we made our way back through the road blocks with this mysterious bag of stuff. I remember walking several paces behind Rachel and Brian (who, it’s probably fair to say, were both rather tipsy) as they passed a cluster of police officers and hearing Rachel say “Just act natural!” in a loud stage whisper. [facepalm]

We met up with Martin the next day to return his bag, telephone numbers were exchanged, and we would then continue to team up with him and Jack just about every time we were in town. While we were all in our B&Bs or flats, he’d be camping out on the cliffs or in his van. As a landscape designer, he’s very comfortable in nature. When Jack passed away a couple of years later, along came a sleek little black puppy called Gonzo with teeth as sharp as needles, who would grow up to be just as cool and full of personality as her predecessor. Just like Jack, she’d go everywhere with Martin, and never on a leash.

So, fast forward to 2016, and here we are driving from Cornwall to Wolverhampton. Although we’ve remained in touch constantly, I’d not seen Martin for quite a few years so Mal and I made a special detour to visit him at his amazing cottage in Devon. This was also the first time I’d had a chance to meet Squidge, the beautiful little dog he got a couple of years ago. She looks so much like Gonzo it’s easy to forget it isn’t her. Over cups of tea, we spent a couple of hours catching up. Topics we covered included nutrition and health, politics (including the US elections and the EU referendum) and we talked a lot about the land Martin bought a few years ago, which he has been developing into a nature reserve, and all the red tape he’s been coming up against as a result. We were hoping to get to tour it today, but the weather wasn’t ideal. That’s something to look forward to the next time I’m over.

 

Names: Colin & Nik Bathe
When and where: Thursday, April 7th, 2016 at The Coaching Inn, St. Columb Major, Cornwall
Beverage: beer
Last time we met in person: We had a similar meeting in the same pub during my visit in May 2014, when we were joined by their late dog, Barney
Friends on Facebook: Colin since May 2009, Nik since October 2010
Friends in real life: Colin since (I’m guessing) 1999, Nik since 2001

It hardly seems possible now but for a couple of years I somehow found myself in the very unlikely position of teaching salsa dance classes in various venues around Cornwall. Colin started coming to my class at Truro Dance Centre, and became a regular there and at the Thursday evening salsa night I later started doing at a nightclub in Truro. We were even part of a group who danced on stage at the Hall for Cornwall in Truro! By the time I was planning my move to the USA, we’d developed quite a nice little community of dancers, and it seemed a shame for it to end just because I was leaving, so I handed over the running of the club to Colin and a couple of other regulars, who kept it going long after my departure. I believe the first time I ever met Nik was when Colin brought her along as his date at my wedding, but we didn’t really have a chance to get to know each other until several years later.

Above: our little salsa crew backstage at the Hall for Cornwall in 2000. (Colin is back row first left, and I’m back row fourth left.)

For the past six years or so, we’ve got together for an evening on probably all but the last one of my visits to the UK. I can’t remember the last time we even mentioned salsa dancing: these days we bond more over our shared love of animals (particularly dogs) and music. During this evening, the conversation flowed non-stop and covered such topics as their two tortoises (in particular, the hibernation and toilet habits thereof), folk festivals, and running. Colin’s been a serious runner for a while, but now Nik has also caught the running bug in the past couple of years. As a sloth in human form, I am constantly dismayed at the popularity of running, and so I am always curious to get inside the runner’s mind. (If you ever see me running, look out for the maniac chasing me with an axe.) I can’t count the number of friends and people I know who started running in the last few years, and claim to love it. It seems like everyone’s at it apart from me. I must be missing something. I mentioned how astounded I was at Eddie Izzard’s recent achievement of running 27 marathons in 27 days. That’s nothing, said Nik, what about this guy? I’d be amazed if I could run to the end of my street. I should probably just accept that I was built for comfort rather than speed.

Name: Mark Thompson
When and where: Tuesday, April 5th, 2016 at Salamander, Mevagissey, Cornwall
Beverage: a very pleasant Cornish sparkling wine
Last time we met in person: on my visit to England in April 2015
Friends on Facebook: since December 2011
Friends in real life: since December 2012

I’ve known my friend Mal since 1992, and his whole family (parents Pauline and Trev, and sister Lucy) have become like extended family to me. They have kindly included me in many family events over the years, and they all came down to Cornwall for our wedding. In 2011, Lucy married Mark. Sadly I couldn’t come over for the wedding, but I finally got to meet him when I visited the following year, and we hit it off right away. Lucy and Mark bought a beautiful house in Cornwall a few years ago, which they visit as often as possible. The last three times I’ve been over, we’ve managed to coordinate our time in Cornwall so we’re all there simultaneously.

For the second year in a row, Mark’s birthday fell during our time in Cornwall, so we all went out to celebrate again at Salamander Restaurant in Mevagissey. We enjoyed a lovely meal, and covered many topics of conversation, with a special emphasis on I.T.A.: Lucy, Mal and I all went to school in Staffordshire, and so we were taught to read and write using this system. Mark did not, and I think he suspected we were making it all up.